Asianosity

New Fanart!

2006-11-26T14:14:00.000-08:00

Hey hey hey, we got a couple of fan art pics from the talented Kohaku and Modesty! Check'em out on our comics site.

Asianosity is back, for reals this time

2006-09-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

it's september, convention season is winding down, and school is starting up for all you poor schmoes in the system.

and with that, asianosity returns, with a new storyline. And a new character! with apologies.

Continuing the Topic...

2006-07-15T10:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, so FirstCultural has so graciously shared the Crazy Asian Mother video with the readers, I'm glad. It's very accurate; if you've got an Asian-born mother, you understand perfectly. Anyway, he'll get to work after all the anime/comic conventions are over... he's busy with his own manga, Apple Story. Go check out sample pages on his website and at his deviantArt site if you're interested.

Right, so, Asian mothers. They honestly need to chill the fuck out and lay off. I'm not sure if all Asian mothers are like this, but I'm pretty certain that the majority of them have this attitude where they know best, and all knowledge gleaned from their years in Asia apply to the here and now in America. News flash: you're in a different country, with a different culture. Some things will not apply.

Alright, so maybe mothers know best the majority of the time. I'm not doubting their experience and knowledge. But there are some things that we, as American-born Asians, know that they do not, and they will never know. It's not a matter of intelligence; it's a matter of cultural upbringing. They just won't understand that you don't have to bring a basket of fruit to someone's house every time you visit, you don't have to give the children of your friends money in little red bags, you don't have to force your guests to eat until they're stuffed. They don't understand that in today's society, people living together before getting married is alright, that sex before marriage, while mildly frowned upon by some, will not send you to the depths of hell. They don't understand that gay people actually exist, and that some of your good friends are gay. They just wave it off and say it's not true.

And this connects to a previous rant (or it may just be a regurgitation of my old rant), but Asian mothers also need to calm down about grades. Sometimes it's not just about the grades, you old hags! It's about being a well-rounded student, doing extracurricular activities, and having a passion for something, anything, other than just studying. Shit, let your children out into the sun, do some healthy exercise or SOMETHING! The stereotype behind weak, pale geeks is not unfounded, dammit.

Jeez. And you know who's the worst? Super-Christian Asian moms. They're like all of the negatives of Christianity and Asian culture combined. I mean, who's bright idea was it to introduce a conservative religion to an already conservative culture?!

Oh, wait, it was the Europeans. Those Jesuit missionaries. Smug bastards. But that is an irrelevant topic to this, and honestly, the bone I have to pick with any kind of missionary is small. Sure, I dislike their preaching to others and their utter assurance that their religion is best, but then again, they do have the right to at least speak their piece.

Anyway, I digress. Asian mothers. Chill. The. Fuck. Out.

Crazy Asian Mother

2006-06-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

A few more comics have been uploaded to fill in most of May, Asianosity will be back on schedule in a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, we found this video dramatization of what happens in Asian households when a student gets a B+ for you to watch.

Crazy Asian Mother
"in china, we don't have time out... we have KNOCK OUT."

dude, where's my asianosity?

2006-04-26T14:12:00.000-07:00

Asianosity is going to behind schedule this week and next week, but don't worry, the missing pages will be filled back in after all the papers and projects are due.

Milk Does A Body Good, You Dumbfucks

2006-04-09T12:29:00.000-07:00

There's this trend in Hong Kong and probably other Asian countries: milk is bad for you. What the hell? Whose bright idea was it that because milk is fatty, your kids shouldn't drink it? Without fat, your kids will grow up skinny and DUMB. Kids need fat to help develop their brains and to grow strong. I'm not saying you should stuff your kids full of fatty food. I'm saying that with a balanced meal, including some good fats such as dairy and red meat, your child will grow up healthy and strong.

But no, people in Hong Kong seem to have this crazy notion that mankind was not meant to drink milk past infancy. You know what? Milk is TASTY. Milk has CALCIUM. And I refer back to my previous rant: stop being so concerned about your damn weight. Ever wonder why I, at an average 5'7" in America, tower over everyone else in Hong Kong, even the males? Because THEY don't drink milk. Sure, there's some smart people in Hong Kong. But the rest of them are stupid dumbfucks who need to get some FAT into their system so their brains can actually operate. Maybe it's not too late for the next generation of Hong Kongers to start drinking milk and getting some more brain power. And some more goddamn talent. The guy who sings for spare change on the corner of Telegraph and Channing in Berkeley is more talented than most of the Hong Kong superstars.

Anyway, yeah. Drink some goddamn milk. You slack-jaw junkslut fucktards.

Eating, or Lack Thereof

2006-03-25T13:08:00.000-08:00

People need to eat. Now Asians are just naturally small and skinny. Have you seen photos of folks in China or Japan? There's perhaps, one, at most two large people walking around. Now China has a reason to be skinny: it's because a sixth of the world's population lives there, and like former Chinese Foreign Minister Zhu Rongji said, "In America there is three bowls of rice for every person; in China, there is one bowl of rice for every three people."

But dammit, for those Asians in America who continue to eat as if they were in the mother country, stop it! Just stop it, you skinny fucks! There is FOOD here. EAT IT. There's no need for you to be a goddamned size negative three! Moderation is key, and as long as you don't stuff yourself with chow mein and fried rice, you'll be fine.

And for the reverse, the Asians who come here and go "ooh, food!" and eat and eat and eat until you burst, ya'll need to calm the fuck down. Cheap buffet food does NOT equal good food. You should enjoy home cooked meals and save up for that nice, decent meal every once in a while. It's better to eat out at a nice restaurant every two weeks than to go out to a shitty buffet once a week.

Not Good Enough

2006-01-25T17:41:00.000-08:00

Asian parents push their children to be the best. Even if it's artificially the best. Who cares if your GPA is 3.95, and your SAT score is 1595? Some of the best high school students who have never gotten anything less than an A in their life FAIL their first semester at college. Why? They can't handle the rigor of real life.

Of course, to many Asians, the only "real life" is the academic one. What happens when you're cooped up in your dorm room all day and not accustomed to having other people around? What happens when you're suddendly thrust into a social sitation where you actually have to INTERACT with other people?

Many Asians can't handle that, because their parents didn't train them properly for it. No, it's not a matter of training. Asian parents don't let their children LIVE. They don't let them have a social life, or any kind of interaction outside of school. And even then, it's STUDY STUDY STUDY GET MORE BETTER COMPETE COMPETE all the time. There's no excuse. Without a well rounded life, children will just get fucked up.

And that is my anti-Asian rant for the day.

FOB?

2006-01-24T00:15:00.000-08:00

FOB: Fresh Off the Boat.

An outdated term, the acronym "FOB" and derivations of "FOB" such as "fobby" is generally used as a derogatory manner to describe someone, generally a new immigrant, who is not very well versed in the American culture and language.

ABC: American Born Chinese.

A term used by those who are Chinese born in the United States. Similar acronyms include the following:

BBC: British Born Chinese.

CBC: Canadian Born Chinese.

gwargh

2006-01-11T21:33:00.000-08:00

eh.

Asian Tourists

2006-01-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

A couple of notes about Asian tourists:

1) They are EVERYWHERE. Seriously; have you ever been to a major landmark? I assure you that there will be some Asian tourists around somewhere.

2) Photography is a recreational activity. It's not the photo that is important so much as the taking of the photo, the positioning, the gathering of everyone, of staring blankly into the camera (or smiling and waving a V sign if you're under the age of 25). All of this culminates into an activity that Asians do for fun. They do this instead of buying souvenirs (which we all know Asians don't do, because they're cheap and don't want to spend more than they have to).

Cultural Notes

2005-12-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

Well, I've added small cultural notes to some of the comics, so that even non-Asians should understand the jokes. Also, a friend of mine brought up the issue: why aren't some of the Chinese characters translated? That's because we feel that the phrases are not necessary; the content can be assumed from the context of the joke. Anyway, if you didn't understand it the first time around, please read the lines afterwards again.

The Beginning

2005-10-27T20:45:00.000-07:00

Yargh. This be Asianosity, the start of a horrible, wonderful, funny, tragic tale.